It’s so easy, isn’t it… to just say, “The hell with it…” and go back to whatever life you were living before you got bitten by screenwriting fever.

It’s hard, isn’t it… to sit alone in a room, with only the thoughts in your own head, rambling around, smashing into each other, sometimes making sense, often times not… while you try to translate it all into something that make sense on a page.

How many times have you just wanted to run out of the room and say, “Fuck it!” I know I have. And yet…

As of today, my latest screenplay “TILLIE” (with co-writer Blake Pinter) has been sent out into the world. Getting to this point, where we felt that “Tillie” was worthy to show, was a two-year investment of our lives. That does not mean a daily full-time job. It means, like most struggling screenwriters, we made a commitment to meet at least once a week, sometimes more (I was happy when it was more) and bring this unique story (based on a novel by Helen Reimensnyder Martin) to life. How do people do it, I wonder? In between jobs, relationships, family commitments, life commitments. How do they carve out the time to write their masterpieces? I don’t know, they just do it. And for what…?

If it isn’t for the joy of writing, if it isn’t because you believe that the story has something powerful or important to say (or even just something extremely entertaining)… if it’s not for that, then what’s it for?

When Blake suggested we take on the story of this gifted little girl who is trapped in a hellish world of working for her tyrannical father while dreaming of being a teacher and seeing worlds beyond the confines of her little town of New Canaan in Pennsylvania Dutch Country in the 1890s, I was deeply intrigued. What I didn’t realize is how much time and effort we would need to make Tillie’s world seem “real.” Neither of us had ever adapted anything, and “TILLIE” was based in a world that was extremely foreign to me, although a bit more familiar to Blake. We had to dive deep into the era and spend lots of time researching the unique language of the Pennsylvania Dutch (lots of tag questions ending with “ain’t?”), the clothing, prayers and hymns of the New Mennonites, and the harsh realities of farm life and social life in this particular time and place.

Writing “TILLIE” forced me to use every tool I have learned along the bumpy road to becoming a professional screenwriter. In the midst of us taking on this project, I was hired to write four TV movies (two of which have been completed, one of which is in pre-production) and a TV pilot. Of course I was extremely grateful for the work, and sometimes, it is necessary to step away from your main project and get a fresh perspective. That said… “TILLIE” kept calling my name, and, as of today, “she” has been successfully launched and is out into the world, submitted to her first competition.

This is, I well know, the beginning of another road… the one to getting this project produced. It could be a short one or a long one… but it’s a road that must be taken.

In the process of writing “TILLIE,” I have learned a lot about pitching and query letters and all the things that we are constantly told we have to know about in order to get something produced.

But the main thing, I think, that one must have is COURAGE and CONVICTION, because without either of these, there is little point in writing a screenplay unless you have the funds (or someone you know does and is willing to part with them) to make the project yourself. Getting people on board, getting people to believe this project (or any) is worth investing their time, money, blood, sweat and tears in… this is a major undertaking.

I do not know what will happen to or for “TILLIE.” But I know that Blake and I stuck it out and completed it. And that moment… when your brain is fuzzy after that nine-hour proofread where you start to become one with the screen and disappear into letters and commas and white space… that moment when you realize it’s done… all I can say is, I imagine it’s like giving birth to a child. A child as PERFECTLY FORMED AS IT’S GOING TO BE at the moment. At some point, one must allow the child out into the world, let it breathe, let it stumble, let it cry and scream, run back to you, run away from you. You must let it live.

And so, today, May 2 (in Tokyo), May 1 (in the USA), we have let TILLIE take her first steps… and I am proud, so proud to know that we did not give up and have created a beautiful, living, loving story… about someone who wants to BE WHO SHE IS, not who she is being told to be. About someone who wants to LEARN and GROW, someone who knows there is something better out there.

“TILLIE” may come from a different era, but she is absolutely alive and real in 2018, because, like so many protagonists that I have come to grow and love, she is willing to pursue her dreams, no matter the cost.

We will report back on “TILLIE” as the inevitable notes and comments come in. I know Blake and I will keep striving to make her as strong and powerful and vibrant as we can.